I'm still riding the wave of Beltane, which is one of my two favorite Sabbats (the other being, what naturally seems to be most Witches favorite, Samhain). I think, if I reflect for a moment on years past, that every week before Beltane I am in sort of a rush and haze of mental energy. So much to do, feeling pulled in different directions, then it ceases and relaxes at Beltane, as it did this time. Clarity, such clarity that birthed from the collective vibration of lovers energy... it's beginning, a different essence of beginnings than even Ostara brings, but a beginning that feels almost innocently open... it's delicious and new, flirty and seductive, raw, even... this time of year brings a connected dance... like a web...
My web has been cleared of too many threads and they have easily and simply fallen away. No emotions attached to them, just time for their release, understanding that not all webs last forever, each web spins anew, as it should. New, renewed, birth, construction, death, resurrection... the webs don't, currently, consist of many strands in the way they once had, with many obligations, some spiraling off into new forms without my acute awareness. No, this time it's clear, so vibrantly silver, sturdy strands, spun with intention. Formless yet beautifully crafted... it speaks volumes to what I am birthing and what no longer has space in my world.
Our second womyn's circle is coming up this weekend and the ritual was inspired and adapted from both a ritual I had done with another womyn's circle, but also the works of Shekhinah Mountainwater, whose work was inspirational and continues to inspire me from the veil. I'm excited for it. Not just as one who is assisting in the facilitation, but as one who will experience the dance from all perspectives; holding space within and on the perimeter while being able to share in the experience with all sorts of womyn... it's the building of community, something I have envisioned and wanted for this area for quite some time.
Vacation is less than a month away... a nice week in the mountains, connecting to Earth, to all things natural and peaceful, away from daily distractions, and just reconnecting, recharging and simply being. I'm really looking forward to it. It rained half the time we were there last time, that whole crazy month of rain we saw during the summer last year, but it was such a welcoming rain, such a peaceful rain, smelled so tranquil. The whole place was tranquil. I spent a short hour at the top of the mountain, looking at the mystery of the clouds, the century-old tales the many trees had to share... it was much too short, but when you're surrounded by people afraid of heights, being at the top of the mountain isn't necessarily a place you'll end up staying for long.
TempleFest will be happening the day after we leave, but I will be driving back for the day to offer a children's workshop and be one of the two representatives for the Cancer Ministry. I struggled with the decision to be present or not, because I really wanted to take this time for myself and my family, but this is also an important area that I am working towards; a calling that I have heard loud and clear and am devoting much of my creative efforts to Priestess. On the other hand, I really did/do want to be there, at the festival, and since it's been changed from a weekend to a one-day event, I feel content about my decision to be there. It will be nice to gather with all the different ministries since I haven't seen most of them since the leadership retreat.
I've added a project for the home to be completed before we go. It's the side of the Capricorn that tells me beginning a project will be a good thing, while the shady/rebellious side mocks with hideous laughter knowing that with the short time and the many things to complete before I go, that us dear Goats aren't prone to "finishing". However, while I do recognize that it's simply a characteristic "trait" and not necessarily the foundation in which all Capricorns are judged... it's sometimes necessary to have an outsource to place (playful) "blame" on.
The releases, though, the ones that have shifted in vibration, they're clear, clear and somewhat (sometimes) off in the horizon, awaiting full purging. I haven't "purged" this year. Not like in years past. I'm really taking this week to identify if it's simply unnecessary to have such a dramatic purge as years prior, or, if I'm still subconsciously holding on.
My gut says "yes"... it's holding on... I know what it is. It's the "invisibility cloak" if you will (perhaps my subconscious is begging for another reread of Harry Potter, ha!)... I'm becoming so present... it's another shift... one that just happens... one that has happened... my consciousness is just catching up... somewhat willingly... somewhat met with resistance...