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Showing posts from March, 2010

In the dark, in the rain

Staring at a blank page is equivalent to an artist staring at a blank canvas: it can be thrilling at times, but mostly, from my perspective, it can be terrifying.  The spinning wheels in your mind become blank, despite all of the inner dialogue that generally creeps in... you're having this conversation with yourself, inside of yourself, immune to the outer world around you, whether it's momentary or not, it ceases to exist for that moment in time (non time), and you're in it... you're in the dark.

Darkness has so many relative associations, I won't begin to bore anyone with where it comes from, the distinctions between "good" and "bad", functional and dysfunction, wanted or unwanted... it's just darkness.  If we start from there, from some sort of uniquely neutral void, it is nothing: no-thing.  Grasping that piece is rather strange in some ways.  I see it hanging in a gallery, almost self-indulgent at times, humorous mostly, like the outca…

"You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said"

I'm extremely captivated by that line tonight.  A wonderful Cyndi Lauper song, it brings back some of the best and worst times of my inner world.  Music has that amazing capability to not only be a time traveling device, but a present moment mechanism that makes you leave the world behind for the duration of that song and sit centered in whatever the memory brings.  I've been in a "shuffle" of time travel this week, bringing back mostly fun and intoxicating memories of a time that feels so alien, in wonderful ways, but the occasional reminder of old pains surfaces, telling new (remembered) tales of when, and the image on the other side of the mirror is brilliant -- she is neither past, present, nor future, she simply is.  What power to simply BE.

This has been an incredible month of doing and being.  Each month this year has been an amazing transformation through time.  It's like a fine tightrope of linear awareness -- extremely fine threads, right in the center,…

Planetary healing/ascension

There has been so much talk about the wind storm in New England, the massive earthquake in Chile, the tsunami warning, the reflections of what Gaia has brought to us in this early year alone... the interesting piece is where people mostly stand on this... no two answers are alike.  You have the group of people who are in pain over the destructive turns nature is taking... others who fear doom over December 2012 luring... then another group who feel it's because of global warming... those that don't even believe in global warming... I know people from each of these groups and more.  Where do I stand? 

Several years ago I did a shamanic apprenticeship with the Eye of the Eagle program.  In my second year we did a lot of work with weather spirits.  I remember clear as day one particular journey where we asked the weather spirits for a message about nature, anything they wanted to share with us that they felt others needed to know.  My journey was powerful... the collective elemen…

A spiral of thoughts...

I feel like life is sort of composed of connection, a span of commitments for two weeks, connection, commitments, connection, repeat.  In my own life I spend a day or two catching up on emails and connecting, then I vanish for a couple of weeks attempting to squeeze in or juggle various commitments... I can't juggle... I think this simple, matter-of-fact metaphor speaks greatly to the fact that juggling simply doesn't work. 

I'm a spirit of non-linear thinking and being, but residing in a world of linear concepts.  This is challenging.  It's not to say that it's "hard", because that's a choice I choose not embrace.  I mentioned to a friend of mine recently how I prefer my life to be easy, and she laughed, saying it was impossible... why?  If we're creators of our own realities, why, why would I create a reality in which I am knowingly making difficult choices?  Perhaps a simple concept, and it's not to say that the uncontrolled aspects of life…