Satisfaction is a breath away

I read that earlier today, that "satisfaction is just a breath away"...

In my attempts today to think more spiritually and reinforce the nature of simplicity, I find myself easily annoyed and crabby -- funny how the best of intentions are often tested against the reality of what your mind is trying to create.

My mind is cluttered, perhaps because the home is finally uncluttered. I'd rather a cluttered mind than a cluttered home, which isn't very zen-like of me, but there you have it. There's something about a cluttered home that drives me completely insane, and everything is off-balance. Granted *I* am unbalanced when my mind is cluttered, but I sometimes find comfort in that reality.

I've taken the past couple of weeks to be with myself, making no social plans, just being home and taking some time to do some much needed reading. I miss those days, of just endless reading for hours and hours, only breaking to use the bathroom and perhaps fixing something to eat suitable as "reading food". It's making me look at my time management and seeing where things don't work and what I want to return to my reality... such as knitting.

Yes, I knit. Not very well, but I knit. I think I could forever make scarves and never get bored, and while I have advanced myself to actually knitting two very wearable socks, I haven't attempted knitting a new one since last year, and even then I only used the simple pattern I had versus actually advancing beyond that. But directions scare me.

They do.

I don't have a great history with anything relative to actually reading (and following) directions. I've cleaned a kitchen floor with car wax once... I've used a cleaning solution that called for a capful of solution and 2 cups of water... I used 2 cups of solution and a capful of water, completely confused as to why the capful of water was even necessary... the list goes on and on, thus my general disposition against patterns out of fear that a well meaning sock would turn into an afghan for a troll.

But knitting brings me to a simplistic place, so even if I only ever make scarves or afghan socks for trolls, it does bring me relaxation.

I don't feel relaxed today, there seems to be much to do and the clutter in my mind would rather I lay in bed reading a good book than concerning myself with anything else. Funny how sometimes the clutter isn't always such a bad thing. )0(

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