Yesterday I decided to finally take a look at the area where we have land. That and I actually remembered to look it up while my computer was still on. Either way, I was curious and despite my many arguments against even considering this a place to move to, I admit, I was enticed by what I saw. Enough to move there? Well... enough to now allow it to be an actual consideration. We're years away from making this decision, but I like to plan, I like to think about the long haul and figure out what's best for everyone. Is this the best move for us? I get no feeling one way or the other. There are many pros, but there are certainly many cons as well. The thing I keep going back to is that how do you pass up land? Do we sell the land and use that to buy a home in the area we somewhat want? Or do we build our own home? It's a lot to consider, and it's opened my mind up about so much...
While this is years away, it's made me think about life right here, right now. I'm sure I can take my work with me, maybe even benefit from having a new start elsewhere, but for now I'm just curious as to what's going to happen here, in this moment.
Vacation is less than a week away and I am looking forward to unplugging and reconnecting with self. I'm thinking of taking an extended hiatus from the internet in general when I return, or at least from the "social" networking sites so I can focus on ADC, upcoming W2, as well as my own personal projects coming up. Sometimes withdrawing has its benefits.
It's "back-to-school" time, and I am resisting the urge to go out and window shop at school supplies... there's something oddly addicting to office/school supplies, and I have successfully managed to stay out of Staples for years now :)
We've been getting the never-ending questions of whether we'll be putting Nimue into pre-school. The answer to that is no, we won't. Aside from the socialization skills that would be beneficial (especially considering she's an extrovert with an introvert for a mother), we don't feel it's necessary with the financial costs. She's done amazing well here without the pressure, though my MIL tells me more often than I'd care to hear, how she was able to read at 3 years old, and I see a little judgment there waiting for her granddaughter to do the same.
Nimue could recite the alphabet when she was 23 months old, could count to 20 by the time she was 2... we're not concerned with her develop, she's doing fine and we introduce various things to her to continue with her development and curiosity.
Several of my friends are homeschoolers or plan to homeschool. It was something I briefly considered mainly based on the fact that I found my own public education less than satisfactory, and private school financially isn't an option at this point, but I do see some benefits to public school, and the fact of the matter is I definitely don't think of myself equipped enough to homeschool Nimue.
I get these questions on a semi-frequent basis relative to her education. My husband went to college, I didn't. I made it through high school "just taking art" as my family would say, finding a different direction in my later years, academics wasn't my main focus upon entering high school, by then the personal traumas I endured had caught up with me and I cared less and less for an education that seemed pointless with the youthful depression I carried.
I think part of this internal quandary about where we're going, where to live is really due to Nimue. As an adult once you are finished with school you think rarely about where to live relative to the "school systems". Even moving here was just to get away from the city and it was financially more appealing. Now? Now I long for a more simplistic life, which I never thought I would hear myself say.
I had imagined my life after high school moving to Boston and going to art school and being in the center of that creative energy (refusing to move to New York of course), being in the center of this big city full of endless possibilities.
Along the way the art became self-infused pressure, and the doubts I had about my talents and persuing a professional career began to take its toll, so I opted for what appeared to be the "easy way out" and ditched the notion of college altogether.
However, in my optimistic view of all things stemming from true energy of perfection, I won't complain. I have been gifted with recognizing and embracing a path that has been sealed in my cellular memory from lifetimes passed, and I feel ultimately full of purpose and gratitude for the work I am meant to do on this planet.
I've been thinking a lot about planetary work, about the roles we have as Priestesses on this path, and I still have some "struggles" relative to connection. It's not something I'm going to delve into now (packing awaits!), but it's also something that hardly seems to be spoken about in a way that makes sense to anyone besides me and my spiritual mother who share in that mental struggle of connection.
Is the "connection", from a human aspect, really necessary to functionally do the work (successfully) that you are meant to do? It's been a light question as of late. I'm not overly concerned, merely curious.
When I return from vacation I'll be diving into a year-long study of with ADC of "The Holy Book Of Women's Mysteries", and I'm quite looking forward to our journey together in even further self discovery, especially from the perspective of womyn's mysteries. The new book stares at me on my desk, begging for beginnings... soon enough.