I did an abundance of thinking yesterday (as I have since we've returned home), but yesterday that thinking manifested into anxiety stemmed from fear. It's not a "bad" fear, but it's still there, scary and silly, joyful and frightening, it's an abundance of emotions and thought forms that it took on a life of its own last night, and my productivity in other areas became non existant as it was covered by this veil. I can't say that it's any better this morning, and I partially understand why, I think once I vocalize this with others it will get somewhat easier, but also intensify the difficulty in many other ways. I suppose I should enjoy the peace for this moment.
It's a sunny day today, the weather spirits shining a new perspective for me and giving me opportunity to enjoy the day away from excessive thinking. The thinking will still be there, no doubt, but not as dense as yesterday.
Lama Surya Das has a book signing today and I am taking Nimue with me. It's earlier than he's done in the past, then again I believe he's generally done the book signings during the week and not the weekend, so I suppose that's why it's throwing me off. I enjoy the evening events, the energies of the night joining me in processing... but I'm looking forward to today, feels like I haven't seen Lama Surya in forever, and while I have no time to read anything new, it'll be nice to have one of his books waiting for me.
It's one of those fast forward days, I can feel it. The original agenda for my day has gone out the window since I am opting to drive an hour to see Lama Surya, then at some point find time to get the work I need done, done, but I really want to enjoy this time here, in this space, right now, without the overload of thoughts and wonder, but true value and appreciation for this exact moment in this exact place. I feel the impermanence of things right now, and gratitude for all is necessary.