Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Monday Monday, only not.

Yesterday completely threw off my week with it being a Monday but feeling like a Sunday.  Most observed holidays don't affect me much, I'm one of those people who will go to the post office or library on observed days and wonder why it's not open.  Those who know me fairly well joke that it's because I don't live in linear time.  Still, not an excuse to not at least pay attention to what's going on in the now, even if my "now" tends to be without borders.

I had ample opportunity yesterday to tell at least my brother and mother our plans to move.  The Universe provided various openings but I didn't take it.  I'd rather address it once, essentially, for the family than to drop off bits and pieces here and there to everyone.  Once the family knows, everyone else is free to know.  It may not seem like a big deal, but when we moved here it may as well have been across the world for the drama it caused.  Meanwhile, we're merely 45 minutes away, an hour if there is severe traffic.  That's a nothing trip.  I tend to drive these days a minimum of an hour to get anywhere, because much of what I want to be around is that far away.  So why put ourselves in a situation to move even further away?

We're tired of it here.  The neighbors who have owned for years have mostly sold the place and moved south.  It's not a place to raise family, and the neighbors who come in now could care less about keeping the peace or the quiet, it's just a place to crash.  There's no respect, for themselves never mind the property, and I have grown tired of having virtually no privacy anymore.  We always knew we wouldn't be here forever, but in the time we've been here it's served us in many ways, but we want something more.  Privacy, for one, would be nice.  To not live in a condo anymore and have to be concerned with neighbors would be splendid.  And to actually pay the same amount (essentially) on property tax in a home with much more land makes more sense than what we're doing now.

I know there needs to be a true acceptance of gratitude here, for what this home and the home spirits who have helped protect us and comfort us.  Gratitude is something I work on daily, keeping it close to the forefront of my mind, because I don't want to be blind and not appreciate the gifts that have come my way.  This is/was one of them.  Being here allowed me opportunities that I won't soon forget, but we have been ready to leave for a number of years now, but this time around it's actually more possible than before. 

Planning on catching up with some ADC emails and preparing for our HBWM that begins this weekend, which means I'll need to gather things together for Saturday vs Sunday since I'll be attending the fundraising workshop that Christopher is doing on the Mysteries of Merlin.  Looking forward to it!  This is also the last month for W1 and then next month we begin W2.

It's also this time of year that I begin to feel so disconnected from socialization.  I think as I delve into my own inner mysteries around this time, the dialogue turns inward and I don't feel like my inner world makes sense with the outer world around me.  The world themselves aren't necessarily disconnected, because they're energetic components aren't the same, but my connection with others begins to bring newer awareness, and I am that much more acutely aware of the connections that really make no "sense" for me.

It may sound pretentious, with an air of superiority, and that's truly not my intention.  This time of year more than any other I long for that sense of community.  Community in its deep and enriched connection of sisterhood.  It's more than an acquaintanceship, it's connectivity that digs deeper past the roots, it's abundant.  There is, metaphysically, a reason why I haven't manifested this for myself, I have no doubts.  Why that is, I'm not sure.  I haven't dug deep enough to figure that aspect out yet.

The cold and rain today makes me long for a nap, especially considering the early hour my body decided to wake itself from a peaceful slumber.  Good day for reading, knitting and soup-making.

)0(

2 comments:

mrsb said...

Your blog is one "e" away from being mine, lol! that's so strange!

Before I went by "Mrs.B." I'd been "silvermoon" for years online.

SilverMoone said...

LOL, yes, we are one "e" away! Most people forget to add the "e" when referencing me, but how funny for the connection!